The Importance of Sibling Connections After Adoption

City Jen has wanted to write this post for a long time... I have always known in my heart that it is extremely important for all children to have a connection with their siblings... this connection is especially important for adopted children... I have the research to back this up... I also have 1st hand accounts from many adult adoptees (Country Jen, included)... I have the 1st hand accounts of 5 of our adopted blessings who have contact with their siblings in Russia and the US...

Country Jen's post on her family blog sums it up best... Out of the mouth of babes... Please visit: Hands, Hearts, Quiver Full ...

I want to second Country Jen's statement:

If you are an adoptive parent out there and you are wondering whether or not you should be "open" or get together with your kids birth siblings... YOU SHOULD!

If you know they have birth siblings and you don't know where they are... LOOK FOR THEM!

You will not regret it...

Waiting to "allow" your child to search when they become adults significantly decreases the odds of being able to locate their siblings and birth parents... the time is NOW... please give your children and the genetic and birth families this gift... even if you find the genetic/birth families and they are not interested... YOU will have peace of mind that YOU can look your child in the eyes and say YOU did all you could to find their birth families and it was the birth family's choice not to have a relationship... YOU as the adoptive parent have positioned yourself so that your adoptive child cannot blame YOU from keeping them from their birth family... YOU did all you could... As an adoptive Mom with three Russian birth families, two genetic families, and one American birth family for our seven adopted blessings... I have tremendous peace of mind knowing that I have done all I could to locate and foster relationships with our genetic and birth families... the kids WILL ask about their heritage, it is human nature... it is just a matter of time... so be prepared and make sure you can say you did all you could... If City Jen can have 3 Russian birth families in closed Russian adoptions located, without speaking a word of Russian... surely, YOU can locate your child's genetic/birth families in the United States...

Just in case you think your child will not find out they were adopted... perhaps because they were adopted as an embryo and only you, your spouse, and clinic know the TRUTH... odds are EXTREMELY HIGH, in this day of technology... some day, some way... they WILL find out... and be devastated... and feel like their entire life has been a lie... and most likely loose all trust and faith in you... and yes, I have 1st hand accounts of this as well... PLEASE let your child know they are adopted...

Honestly is TRULY the best policy!!!